Glory to Glory

After I posted my blog last week, Mom’s blood pressure dropped to sixty over forty, and she was unresponsive. I made the decision to call an ambulance because I knew her condition was due to medications I had been forced to give her. (The night before she had woken up with a coughing/choking attack). Though we understand the reason she is under hospice care is because they consider her condition end stage COPD,  I still felt I must call 911. The EMTs did not go to extreme measures to save her life, but they administered an IV and within minutes she became alert and responsive. The journey continues.

There have been some difficult days and I’m sure there will be more. I assure you we do not always respond like saints, but our mission here is to provide not just a comfortable and dignified environment, but to also provide a place of prayer and praise.

We pray a lot around our house. Dad prays for a miracle, Wolter and I pray for wisdom, peace and direction, and Mom just prays. She and Dad open and finish each day with prayer, they pray over meals and then there are the spontaneous prayer sessions that erupt when we least expect it.  

Regardless of the timing our sense of the prayers remain the same. We offer our prayers and petitions at the feet of Jesus while she actually sits at His feet. Each of her prayers begin with the words, “Thank you for Calvary and the work of the cross – thank you for your grace.”

I’m not sure of all that is in Mom’s heart and head these days. We take it a day at a time. Sometimes she sits in silence and when we offer to turn something on she says no. Other times she asks for music as she reads, a good bit of time she drifts in and out of sleep.

Whenever a prayer, song or a hymn begins she lifts her hands in praise. It seems she has a deeper awareness of His presence. The longer she lives the simpler it is. We are sinful and broken and we needed a savior to save and heal us. Though she and Dad have done many works as evidence of their faith, it’s not about good works. It never has been. It’s all about the Savior for whom the work is done.


(Hospice nurse Sharon plays harp for Mom)

There is a New Testament verse that reads, 'But we all, with unveiled faces, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory.'

The end of the journey should be just that: from Glory to Glory. We go from a glorious awareness of Him here until we step into His glorious presence there. We begin our song of praise here, but we finish it there. Here we know only in part, but there we will know and be fully known.

Grace Extravagant

Soon after Hospice arrived Mom asked if my husband Wolter was home, then she informed me she had something very important to say to him. Later that evening as we watched an insipid news report, she asked us to turn the television off because she needed to speak with Wolter. He looked my way, but all I could offer was a shrug. The room grew quiet as we waited for her to speak.

Her voice cracked with emotion as she began, “I’ve been A/G all my life.” I wasn’t too sure where we were headed, but she was the one who had convened the meeting. For the unknowing, A/G stands for Assemblies of God; it is the church my Mother was saved in at the age of fifteen - it was the church she grew up in. She became a lay minister in the church and later a missionary. Historically it was a very conservative organization that was deeply rooted in Pentecostalism and holiness.

She continued, fighting back the emotion. “When you asked to marry our daughter, we were hesitant. We told you we did not believe in divorce, and you responded, 'I don’t either.'” – You see Wolter is a divorcee. The big “D” word is etched across the history of his life. My own history was not the most pure and pristine, but somehow I had avoided marriage, divorce and possibly even jail - (smile)

At this point Mom could not fight back her emotions, with tears she continued. “I’m so sorry we ever questioned the power of God’s grace in your life. You have been the best son-in-law, and husband to our daughter. I’m so sorry we questioned you regarding your past divorces. God's transforming power is so much bigger than that. I’m still A/G and I’m loyal to our church organization. The denomination has taken a strong stand against divorce, but I thank God each day that you are my son-in-law. Thank you for uprooting your life to come to Tennessee with Tammy to help take care of us. Not many men would do something like that.”

Mom grabbed some tissues, and Wolter thanked her for her words and told her he still didn’t believe in divorce. He hates how it rips apart families for generations and generations. He understands the verse in Malachi different than most, when God says, “I hate divorce” it is with grief in his voice not finger-pointing judgment.

I hope when I’m as old as Mom and I reach my journey’s end that I will still be learning the lessons of God’s extravagant grace. We all sat there in a silent room awed by a God who patches together the messes of our lives and weaves a beautiful tapestry.

Help, Hope and Hospice

We were weary, each time one fire was quenched another erupted. It seemed like an endless battle, night and day. Day and night. And then they came; we gazed to the distant hills and saw the strong figures mounted on even stronger horses. We exhaled as a sense of relief poured through us. The calvary had arrived - we no longer had to fight this battle alone.

They carried an unfurled banner with the words; Hospice. They rode up, dismounted and put an ensuring hand on our drooping shoulders. The reinforcements had arrived.

We believe in divine intervention for healing, or divine intervention for anything else the sovereign God chooses. However, right now it seems this respiratory illness is unrelenting. To have a team of faithful servants come into our home and help is greatly welcomed. Caris - Favor, grace and charm. This allows my mother to progress towards the finish line with favor and dignity.

Mom is still sharp for the most part. The days when she is most confused is because of the medication. Her body is frail and weak, but her spirits are strong. Each day she give us impromptu devotionals and speaks about this beautiful journey. She speaks as though she has reached her journey's end. "We are but sojourners and pilgrims - just passing through."

Recently as she pushed her walker down the narrow hallway, she said, "Today, I feel brand new. Nothing is hidden between me and God. There is no shame. I'm a brand new creation. Just as I was on the day I first asked him to join me in this journey." 

She remembers vividly when she invited Jesus Christ to be the primary navigator of her journey. It was also the day she discovered the depth of her alien status in this world. This is not her land, she's just passing through, an ambassador from another kingdom. How and when this journey will end, we cannot say. Some are closer to that end than others. It has definitely been and still is a great road trip!

PS - This blog is about my mom's journey's end - she and my father both have health challenges, but if I were to write a blog about him it would be entitled: This Cowboy's gonna go Down Shooting!